Tuesday, July 19, 2011


     I have been on a downward spiral since my mom passed away. I kept busy with my classes, getting the kiddos to and from all of their functions, and just generally maintaining my household. Once school got out, Gabbi had her tonsils out, so I was busy with that; then Mo burned 4 of her fingers, so I was busy with that. Now that everything has settled down (or as settled down as it can be with 5 kids), it has hit me like a ton of bricks.
     One day last week, I got up with Steve when he was getting ready for work. I chatted with him, helped him find his socks, gave him a kiss and sent him on his way. Once he left, I headed back to bed. I logged on to Facebook and pulled up my media player for some background music. This song was playing. Tears began to fill my eyes and before too long I was full out bawling. I ended up crying for about an hour and a half and fell asleep. Since that day, I will randomly burst into tears without any warning. I hate it. 
     Here's what I think it boils down to: I need to deal with everything that I held in trying to be strong for my girls....but I'm just not ready....

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