Tuesday, June 22, 2010

More thinking on Trix....

I don't seem to be able to keep Trix off my mind. I'm having a hard time taking care of the other girls because of that. That makes me feel like a bad mom...which brings my thinking back to Trix...and the fact that I'm a bad mom all over again. *sigh* 
Deep down, I'm not sure what to believe about my parenting skills...or lack thereof, depending on how you look at it. I used to think I was a pretty good parent; this has really changed my outlook on myself. I know there are excellent parents out there that have kids who turned out to be really horrible people....and that is one thing I try to remind myself of....I can only guide my children, teach them right from wrong, and point them in the right direction...they have to decide for themselves how they will use what they have learned to make their choices. 
I hope that I can maintain some semblance on my sanity when Trix comes home on Saturday...I hope that she will have thought about the decisions that she has made, and realize that she is on the wrong path. Whatever will be, will be....and I will have to accept that. I'm just not too sure I can...
She and I last summer :)


Brandie said...

Tonya - I don;t know what is going on with you and your oldest, but remember that the teenage years are hard.... I know that ours was! If you remember much about my brother, you remember that he was very heavily into drugs. Now he is clean, married, and making a good life for himself and family.

I guess what I am trying to day is, just love her, make sure she knows that while you don't support her decisions, you love her and are there for here. Give her that safe place to go to if/when she needs it, and the strength to come out on the other side.

You guys will make it through this.

-T- said...

Thanks Brandie! It's so rough right now....UGH!

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